Scenes that never made it to the Redwall books
by pwmarlfox
Summary: There were many failed scenes that were discarded by BJ, but are being rediscovered... It's too bad they never made it, isn't it?
1. Lord Brocktree

****

Scenes that never made it to the _Redwall_ books

By Joseph Dunlap

Lord Brocktree

__

In Lord Brocktree_, during the part where Dotti is challenging Bucko Bigbones, there is a bankvole referee who presides over the three events. As a matter of fact, Brian Jacques liked this idea so much that he began writing an entire section on the spur of the moment:_

After beating Bucko Bigbones in all three challenges, Dotti thought that the whole thing would be over. Much to her surprise, Bucko was back up on his feet in a matter of seconds.

"Ach, ye've won th' first three cha'nges, ah'll grant ye. But ah'll wager ye can ne'er outplay me in a gemm o' basketball!"

Dotti found herself being outfitted in a basketball uniform, with Bucko being dressed likewise. "A bit o' one on one, eh wot? I guess I can accept th' challenge, sah!" she said as the bankvole referee, clad in stripes, appeared with a regulation-sized game ball.

After the jump, which Bucko won, the game seemed to be going in his direction, as he was larger and came up with most of the rebounds. At halftime Dotti was behind by a good 20 points. As she made her way to the bench, Southpaw and Bobweave brought her a bottle of Gatorade and a white towel from the locker room.

"Here y'are, ol' gel, quench that parched throat o' yours with a nice swig o' this. 'Twill give you a bit o' pep, wot?"

"Wipe y'brow with this towel, Dotti ol' sport. I brought it just for you."

During the short break , she and the adoring twin boxing hares observed the strengths and weaknesses of Bucko Bigbones, who was already up and taking a few practice shots. He was tough, but he couldn't last much longer. His favorite shot was the lay-up, and he was good at it. Another thing they noticed was that his 3-point shots and free throws were inconsistent; it was mainly his size that gave him an adavantage.

The second half, Dotti stayed well away from Bucko when she had the ball, using her speed and footwork whenever possible and shooting a lot of 3-pointers, which she was famous for back home. When she did not have the ball, she forced Bucko into the corners where he would either have to get around her, which he only did two or three times, or shoot a long shot, which was his weakness. With just 15 seconds left, Dotti hooked another 3-point shot in her trademark manner, cutting the lead to three. As Bucko tried to come in for a lay-up, Dotti dodged in, grabbed the ball, and spun around Bucko at the 3-point mark. Instinctively she shot, and in the same moment was fouled by her opponent. All eyes were on the ball as it flew through the air. Amid deafening cheers, it sunk into the back of the net with the clock stopped at five seconds.

Dotti was in a daze as she caught the ball from the referee and squared up at the free throw line. She looked out at the cheering crowd, noticing familiar faces: Lord Brocktree, Southpaw, Bobweave, Fleetscut, Jukka; too bad her parents weren't there to see the game, or anybeast else from back home.

She then turned and looked at the basket, shutting out everything else and focusing on the shot she had to make. She tried to forget that this shot could win the game; she tried hard to remember those long hours she had spent with her father back home in the back yard on that old netless hoop.

For you, father, she thought. And taking a deep breath, she shot.

__

It was at this point that B.J. stopped writing and realized what he was doing. "This doesn't fit!" he said, and crumpled it up.


	2. The Long Patrol

The Long Patrol

__

In The Long Patrol_, when the Long Patrol is marching towards the Battle on the Ridge, the recruit Trowbaggs comments in molespeech about feeling like he's underground, to which Sergeant Clubrush replies that perhaps he could dig an overnight shelter for the officers. This is a scene that was immediately cut from the book:_

"B- but sah, I didn't say it, honest!" said Trowbaggs.

Clubrush rolled his eyes. "Then who did, rip, a ventriloquist mole with a hidden agenda?"

"Hurr, 'owdee know," grumbled the mole, hiding his agenda.

"Aha!" shouted the sergeant. "Just as I suspected, wot! So, you've finally fallen into my clutches, Mole the mole!"

"Curses," cursed the mole.

"Rip?" asked Trowbaggs.

"Eh, wot's that?" said Clubrush.

"Rip," he repeated. "You said rip."

Clubrush rolled his eyes. "I did not!"

"You did so!" the recruit insisted. "I heard you."

"Did not! I didn't say rip! Did not did not!"

"Did too, didn't he, mole-" He looked around. "Mole? He's gone!"

"Did not did not did not did not!"

At this very moment, as Trowbaggs was searching for the mysterious mole and Clubrush was hopping around denying ever having said "rip", a strange green light appeared above them. Before either knew what was happening, they were pulled into an alien spaceship.

"Did not infinity!" Clubrush said with a satisfied smirk.

"Shh! Quiet, sah," said Trowbaggs. "Something's different, or wrong, I know it."

"Oh, you mean the fact that we've just been abducted by hostile alien rabbits and they've surrounded us with their ray guns? Aye, I noticed, rip," Sergeant Clubrush said, rolling his eyes.

"You said it again! You said rip!" laughed Trowbaggs. Clubrush growled and rolled his eyes.

"Looks like the only thing that can save us now," said Clubrush, changing the subject, "is for Mole the mole to come and distract the guards with card tricks so we can escape, wot."

Mole promptly walked up with a deck of cards. One of the guards turned and blew him to smithereens.

"Curses," cursed the mole.

"Ok, that didn't work," said Trowbaggs. "What now?"

"Let me think," thought Clubrush. "Ok, I got nothing."

"We will take you to our leader," said the guard.

"That'll work," said Trowbaggs.

They soon found themselves in the audience of the Great Rabbit. They cheered. "Yippee," said Trowbaggs. "Wait, wrong audience."

"Now, young r-- young lad, no matter what they do to us, don't tell them anything. Keep a stiff upper lip, wot," warned the sergeant.

"Sit down," the head rabbit said.

"He seems nice," said Trowbaggs.

The Great Rabbit gave an evil laugh. "Now, how about joining me for a nice bit of tea, eh?"

"Nooooooooo!" Clubrush fell to his knees. "Not that! Anything but that!"

"He did it! He did it! He did it!" Trowbaggs, pointed, jumping up and down.

Sergeant Clubrush rolled his eyes.

"Why do you keep rolling your eyes, anyways?" asked Trowbaggs.

"I'm practicing," replied Clubrush. "I think I've just about got it, one more roll." He rolled one more time. "Seven!" he said triumphantly.

"Curses!" cursed the alien.

So the alien rabbits were forced to return Drill Sergeant Clubrush and Private Trowbaggs to the earth. They were placed back in rank, seemingly as if they had never left. In fact, they never did.

"Whew!" said Clubrush, fanning himself. "That sun sure can do things to you, wot. What a mira-- thingummy-- dream, eh? Alien rabbits? Harharhar..."

"Sah," said Trowbaggs, confused. "What are you talking about? Are you feeling alright? Seeing rabbits, are we?"

"Er," Clubrush blushed. "Right, carry on." He quickly went to check on the front ranks, who seemed to need his immediate attention.

Trowbaggs rolled his eyes and hid his agenda. "Nice day for tea, wot," he mused to himself.


	3. Marlfox

**Marlfox**

_In_ Marlfox_, Song and Dann, accompanied by a host of goodbeasts, set out to recapture the tapestry of Martin the Warrior, which has been taken to the Castle Marl. This highly creative scene was found in the piles of deserted drafts:_

-------

_"Red One, this is Blue One. State your position."_

"Roger, Blue One. This is Red One. I am at the wall, about to begin Operation Emancipation."

_"Good luck, Red One. Blue Team out."_

Dannflor cut the comm channel, just in case unfriendly ears were listening. He made sure his grappling hook was secured tightly to the rope he had brought, and tested its range. It flew up about halfway, glanced off the wall, and hit the ground next to him. He threw again, and it sailed over the wall. After a few seconds, it became taut - good, the slaves had seen it. He climbed up the rope skillfully. When he reached the walltop, he shinnied down the rope to his target: a cage, filled to the brim with hope-filled slaves. In one swing, he disabled the lock on the door with his assault rifle. The slaves inside were insistant on showing their gratitude, but Dann knew there was work to be done. He issued weapons to each of them, mostly pistols, but with a few assault rifles, and two sniper rifles to those with the keenest eyes; with their weapons they also received new designations: they now comprised the rest of Red Team. Dann's paw went up and tapped the comm channel once: mission accomplished.

Suddenly, there was a noise above them: several Banshees flying overhead, frantically trying to escape Megraw, the ace pilot of the UNSC, flying a Pelican dropship and armed to the teeth. Banshees slammed into the ground and crashed into the walls. As if awoken by this commotion, a door nearby burst open, and guards streamed out, firing plasma pistols blindly. Dann looked at the armed slaves.

"Red Team, go!"

-------

At this particular point in time, Blue One and Blue Two, Song and Gawjo, had just landed their raft in a covert location, accompanied by the rest of Blue Team: Dippler, Burble, and a dozen hefty hedgehogs. Song keyed in her private comm channels. "Blue Three, Blue Four, follow me." Then she added, "Be careful, Blue Two." Gawjo nodded and was gone with the remainder of Blue Team in the blink of an eye. Song, Dippler and Burble entered the castle grounds by way of a side gate, which was easily dispatched with the butt of Song's shotgun. Two startled Jackal guards fired shots of plasma, but were quickly picked off by head shots from Dippler and Burble's pistols. Luckily, everybeast's shields still held. The team ran through the shadows and into an open doorway to the castle, where they overtook three more Jackals from behind. Song motioned up the nearest ramp with her shotgun, then pointed upwards, where they knew Mokkan the Marlfox King's headquarters were. Two acknowledgement lights blinked.

-------

The assault of Red Team had been so ferocious and unexpected, the Grunts actually turned and ran, locking themselves behind an access hatch. Red Two, an otter named Torrab, posted two hedgehogs to guard the hatch. Just then, the comm channel crackled and they heard Gawjo's voice loud and clear. "Red Team, this is Blue Two. We're headed for the access target. You got our backs?"

"Roger that, Blue Two," Dann replied. He motioned to the rest of the team, and they circled around the courtyard to the front gates of the castle.

-------

When Blue Two and Blues Five through Sixteen got through the side gate leading to the courtyard, it was completely empty, save for two Red Team members, hedgehogs, who stood guard on a closed hatch. They were Red Ten and Red Fifteen, and they were guarding a threat of potential hostiles. Gawjo nodded and Blue Team proceeded in the direction of the main gate.

At that moment, the hatch burst open again, and a barrage of plasma sprayed out, followed by dozens of Grunts. The two guards posted had been killed by the initial blast. The host of Covenant turned on Blue Team with a new wave of purpose. The Spartans assumed a combat formation and engaged.

-------

_"This is Blue Two. We are under attack! Repeat, we are under attack! Four Spartans down. Request immediate reinforcements in the courtyard, immediately!"_

Dann slapped his HUD angrily. How could he have been so stupid? Of course Gawjo was in the courtyard, the _side gate_ was the access target, not the castle gates themselves! He quickly filed this away for immediate study and reproval following the success of this mission. "Did everybeast get that?" he called over the team comm. Acknowledgement lights winked all over the place. They moved out.

-------

Blue One, Three and Four were at, they believed, the final ramp. In front of them was the open door to Mokkan's HQ; they had received mild resistance up till now. This was about to change.

The three Spartans stood on either side of the doorway, ready for action. At Song's signal, two plasma grenades flew into the room, followed by two muffled explosions. They ran in, guns aimed and ready.

The room was empty.

Song was unsettled, but there in the middle of the room was what they had come here for: the tapestry of Martin the Warrior. Dippler stowed his weapon and grabbed the pole, and they left the room. "This is Blue One," she keyed over the open comm channel. "We have captured the flag. I repeat, we have captured the flag. Returning to Home Base."

There was no answer. Odd, she thought. There was no time to waste, however, and the three left by the route they had just come by.

-------

Team Red had slammed into the bewildered force of Grunts, spraying them with automatic gunfire. About a dozen fell immediately before the rest of them had time to turn around and discover their new threat. Half of them had been decimated in a matter of seconds, caught in a crossfire between the two teams. The slaves of Red Team had now cornered the leader of the Covenant guards, a red-armored Elite, who fought tenaciously with a plasma rifle but soon fell under a barrage of shields- and armor-piercing bullets. As he went down he let out a loud, rumbling cry that echoed over the courtyard. All of the Grunts, terrified, froze and dropped their weapons.

At this moment, Blue One, Three and Four appeared at the edge of the courtyard. Song surveyed the situation and shouted, "We have captured your flag! Your commander is gone, and all your base are belong to us! Surrender now and you will be spared!" The Grunts quickly complied.

Dann keyed over a private channel. "Mission accomplished, Blue One. Good job." Song's acknowledgement light flickered.

Suddenly, somebeast shouted over the comm, "Look out there! It's Mokkan, in the lake! He's making a run for it!"

Beasts crowded around, trying to get a good view, when a female hedgehog, Red Eight, shoved her way through. She was toting a deadly sniper rifle. Immediately everybeast stood back, leaving the marksbeast, Nettlebud, to her business. She tested the wind, then sighted through her scope. There he was: ol' Mokkan himself, in his pretty little Ghost. He looked back, seeing her rifle aimed at him, and gunned the vehicle faster. Oh no, she thought, there's nowhere you can run to get out of my range. She zoomed to 10x. There he was, crystal clear as if the Brute were standing right in front of her. She slowly sighted up until his head was centered perfectly, and shot. The sound echoed over the silent walls, and out over the water of the Inland Lake. It was a clean hit; Mokkan slumped out of the Ghost, surprised and completely dead, and the flesh-eating fish dragged him under the waves.

Nettlebud keyed over the open comm. "Red Team, Blue Team, this is Red Eight. Enemy is neutralized and the flag is captured. Let's go home."

_Oddly enough, this entire concept was scrapped as "not very innovational" and "wouldn't sell". It was rediscovered years later, and B.J. has regretted it ever since._


End file.
